Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Ambushed, do you hear me?

I hate being ambushed, by anything. I don't take well to sudden proclamations of engagement, pregnancy, surprise parties, well; anything really. I like to be in the know, to have a pretty good idea of what is coming down the pipe. My easy access to the Internet has only fueled my need to know. I check store hours, directions, stock, prices, age requirements, height requirements, check-in hours, pool hours, any detail I think I might need before doing whatever it is I need to do. Rarely do I venture out for something without the item already set aside for me or a clear idea of what it is I am going to be doing. I have confessed to the occasional carefree, spur-of-the-moment days I truly do enjoy, but they are not my preferred state of existence.

So this morning when our phone rang several times as Rosebud and I were upstairs, and running into my bedroom and all the way around to the other side of the bed seemed too taxing; we let it ring. Suddenly, my cellphone that I keep in the diaper bag starts to ring too; now I am hightailing it down the stairs.

Papoosie Girl is in the office at school, and is extremely upset and in pain. Her ear is hurting and they want me to come and pick her up right away. After quick changes for myself and Rosebud we are off to pick-up Papoosie Girl who is sitting on the bench in the office clutching her ear. Bugger. She was fine this morning, usual breakfast, TV, off to school. No runny nose, no high fever in the middle of the night (our usual ear infection calling card), just serious ear pain. Our doctor closes at noon on Wednesday's so I make a hasty call (it is 11:50am) and the wonderful receptionist who has known me since before I even had the girls says to come on over, there will be a wait, but just head over. Lucky break as I really hate taking the girls to walk-in clinics. Don't think for a second I don't know how lucky we are to have a family doctor, many of our friends live in communities where they rely exclusively on walk-in clinics.

After an hour of waiting we see the doctor who examines her ear and declares it, "quite red and angry" he gives us a prescription and says to take some Advil for the pain. OK I am not new at this, how can this go undetected? Papoosie Girl had tubes in her ears at the age of two after a year of chronic ear trouble and has always been extremely sensitive to ear pain. Suddenly I feel a bit sick for making her finish her spelling homework sheets last night. Was it hurting then and that is why she was having trouble concentrating? More bugger.

Despite being in the trenches for six years now I felt so horribly unqualified today. What kind of parent misses a "bad" ear infection. Sigh. I need a cup of tea real bad and since Rosebud is finally down for her nap and Papoosie Girl is all medicated and quite cozy reading in my bed (our sick spot in our house) I am going to do just that.

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes? Things you have covered a million times before are somehow missed in the shuffle of life with small children. I know I am not the only one, but boy did I feel a bit new today. Now I am replaying the last few days in my head fruitlessly looking for clues I might have missed. Was she more cranky than usual, more difficult? She certainly never said her ear was bothering her, but wouldn't a good parent have picked up on it? All will be well and most likely forgotten in a few days, but I am amazed at how these moments present themselves to me as if to say, know matter how much you think you have figured this out - there is a long road ahead of you. I can hardly wait, and I really mean that. Just maybe send me long, detailed memo first?


Haley-O said...

Everything seems like it's ALWAYS new to me. You never know what to expect with kids. That's what I've learned. :) I hope her ear feels better soon! Oh, and I guess I should say sorry for dropping my big pregnancy bomb on you without warning! ;)

bubandpie said...

Well, put it this way:

-A parent who hovers over her daughter, anxiously asking, "Does your ear hurt?" whenever her mood seems a little off? Bad parent.

-A parent who hustles daugher to the doctor's office demanding antibiotics, even though said daughter hasn't actually complained of ear pain? Bad parent and a little touch of Munchhausen's.

Sounds like you're doing a good job to me. ;)

Alpha DogMa said...

You, missy, are NOT a bad parent. Not in the least. Now if you make a cup of tea and add a splash of whiskey - I might have a few questions for you.

But no, what B&P said is on the money.

I know what you mean, as my boys are covered in self inflicted bruises. Well, self and brother inflicted. And Danger Boy is missing a front tooth because of an unfortunate encounter with gravity last year. Which also left him with a big scar on his chin. And now Dr. Know has a big scar above his eye from a wrestling match last week with his brother. It is a wonder CSS hasn't been called yet.

Hope everyone mends soon.

Oh, The Joys said...

Ugh! The Rooster has to get the tubes on Monday and The Mayor had them when he was just one. - SIGH- It is stressful. I totally understand.

Mimi said...

Ahhh, yes. You're a GREAT mom.

Me, sometimes I forget to feed my baby. Then I wonder why she's crabby. For this reason, I feel certain she will become an early talker, if only to ensure the necessaries of life get handled.


Sounds like you did a good job handling the unknown. As you know, there are known knowns, known unknowns and unknown unknowns. You can't be ready for them all ...

Jenifer G. said...


You guys are the best, all of you. You know just what to say to a gal having a bad day.

Papoosie Girl is sleeping soundly and seems to be much better, read was back to driving me just a bit crazy - so all is (almost) well.
Haley-Just think now you will have two times the "new". ;)

B&P-You are so right. We cannot live in a state of anticipated emergency.

AD-Brotherly injuries, er love would seem par for the course. I have friend and he has two brothers, they are all a little worse for wear with the scars to prove it. What I wouldn't have given for something a little stronger...I am also nursing a sore back...another story altogether.

Joy-The tubes are stressful. We were lucky and she only needed the one set. I have heard of others going back several times. A friend who was against tubes swears by using a chiropractor, but we never explored that one. The first set of tubes was all we needed.

Mimi-First word will be food then? I have done that before too.

Beck said...

You can't know everything. My daughter sat around with a broken arm for TWENTYFOUR hours without us knowing. We're doing the best we can.

erin k said...

I think you would be a bad parent if you DIDN'T question your parenting ability now and then (or every day. or several times a day)

(BTW I found you via Frog and Toad...)

Mad Hatter said...

Yup, like Mimi, I forget to feed my daughter sometimes. Not noticing an ear infection b/c it hasn't been brought to your attention seems like a pretty reasonable act of parenting. Don't we have those ears precisely b/c we don't have ESP?

Omaha Mama said...

Is tea code for something stronger in Canada? I hope you're feeling better, because it's really not your fault. I took my little guy to the dr. once for a cut he had gotten in his mouth. I asked the doc to take a peek in his ears, since we were there. Sure enough, double ear infection. Didn't have a clue. Oy.

I've said it before, there are moments when I really don't feel that I am a grown-up. And often feel unqualified to be a parent.

Hang in there. You sound like a great mommy. The fact that you are sad about all of this speaks to that.

Sandra said...

You are so the opposite of a bad parent.

And I too agree with Bub & Pie. My guy used to get ear infections all the time when he was small but never showed any sign of it and then the doctor would scold me for not being more perceptive. Ug.

You are doing great. Don't worry.

Anonymous said...

I sat on strep throat for over a week.

"It's just allergies, go to school."
"It's just a little cold, go to school."
That went on for a week. It turned out to be strep. I felt like an idiot.

Now I know I'm not an idiot. I am normal.

NotSoSage said...

Dropping in to say sorry for neglecting everyone this week.

You are not a bad parent. I am a bad bloggy-friend. BnP is wise. She knows things.

Hope Papoosie Girl recovers quickly.

Her Bad Mother said...

Dude. DITTO.